forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
