His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
