just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
