I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
