I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
