Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
