I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
