My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
