can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
