it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
porn star boner night. come get it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
