i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This is my gift to your gina
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
