somebody snuck up and got me drunk
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
