She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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