theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think I just shit out all my problems.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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