You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
