Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
