you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize