and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
