Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
