i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
