Your tits are I can't wait for
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
