Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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