I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize