so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
