I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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