how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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