A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I could fuck to npr.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
