Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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