I've blown a few things in my day
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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