He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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