i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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