Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
