well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize