the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
