White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
