took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
