I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
