I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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