It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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