Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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