She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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