so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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