grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
