i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize