Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
