Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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