If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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