Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
