it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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