5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My vagina is officially offended.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize