Im at strip club and am horny
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Acid is not a monday night drug
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
