OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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