I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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