what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the raccoons are back...
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