Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just pynch a tree in the face
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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