Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
