I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you traded sex for a burrito?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize