If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
