batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
