what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
