Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
