Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
