Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
