We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize