I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
A+ Viking dick
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
