I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
