She is in my trunk
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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