ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
